About Sexuality and Adolescent Development

Sexual desires and feelings are a natural part of life. As children transition into adolescence and adulthood, these feelings develop and begin to change. During adolescence, hormonal and physical changes occur both physically and cognitively, and the adolescent begins to wonder about these newly emerging intense sexual feelings. ### Sexual Feelings and Identity Exploration in Adolescence For adolescents (both girls and boys), these new sexual feelings and thoughts can sometimes be intense, incomprehensible, and even disturbing. It can be even more difficult to cope with these feelings, especially for adolescents who are attracted to the same sex. Thoughts and anxieties like "What will people think of me?" or "Am I gay?" may arise. Having sexual thoughts about both the same sex and the opposite sex is very common at these ages when adolescents' sexual identities are developing. Imagining individuals of the same sex or the opposite sex is not sufficient on its own to determine an adolescent's sexual orientation. Some adolescents may experiment with the same sex while discovering their own sexuality. These experiments are also not enough on their own to determine an adolescent's sexual orientation. ### Acceptance and the Coming Out Process All adolescents, regardless of their sexual orientation, want first and foremost to be understood, respected, and accepted by their families. As gay and lesbian adolescents grow up, they may feel as if everyone is supposed to be heterosexual. For this reason, some gay and lesbian youth may feel different from their friends when their heterosexual peers talk about relationships, romantic feelings, and sex. To fit into their friend circles, they may feel forced to act as if they are experiencing feelings they do not have. They may feel compelled to deny who they are or hide important parts of themselves. Fears of exclusion can also lead non-heterosexual youth to hide their sexual orientation from their families and friends, who are the very people who could support them. Some gay or lesbian adolescents share their sexual orientation with friends and family members they feel close to and safe with. This is called coming out. The coming out of most lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth is accepted and supported by their friends and families. These individuals feel comfortable and secure about their sexuality and who they are. ### The Importance of a Supportive Environment Unfortunately, not everyone has such a safe and accepting environment. An adolescent who is forced to or feels the need to hide who they are due to fear of exclusion, rejection, or even violence may experience emotional problems like anxiety and depression. Some gay adolescents who lack a support group may drop out of school, live on the streets, use alcohol and substances, and even self-harm in some cases. Regardless of an adolescent's sexual orientation, challenges can be experienced regarding sexuality and relationships. It can be important and beneficial for the adolescent to consult someone or discuss these complex feelings associated with growing up. This person could be a parent, another family member, a close friend, a sibling, or a school counselor. It can be difficult for an adolescent to find someone they can trust to discuss some of the challenging issues of adolescence. People who can be trusted and who will not react negatively can play a crucial role in helping the adolescent cope with these difficulties. Psychologists, psychiatrists, and guidance counselors trained in these subjects can assist adolescents with issues related to their sexual development. These professionals can help adolescents cope with issues like peer pressure, bullying, and harassment, establish their own identities, and develop meaningful relationships without fear. They can also assist parents who experience complex feelings regarding their child's sexual orientation in understanding their own emotions and coping with the challenges they face. Whatever their sexual orientation, adolescents may have questions about sexual health, their thoughts and feelings, their changing bodies, and becoming an adult. Especially for gay and lesbian adolescents, finding someone to talk to about these difficult topics is important. Parents becoming more informed about these issues can enable them to speak comfortably about topics like sexuality. **TINUS PSYCHOLOGY**